LDF- Long distance friendship. I really need some clarity on this because supposedly I have too high of expectations when it comes to these. So please post your comments/advice below :)
If I have someone in my life whom I call a close friend, I feel that if someone asked me, "hey how is _____ doing" I'd be able to confidently say how they actually were. A close friendship to me involves communication and just checking in on each other to see how what has been going on in their life.. At minimum, I think that to have someone in your life that you call a close friend, you at least have communication with them once a month. You talk to each other when you are at a low or high point in our life. Give updates on big events that are happening and then inquire and ask how things are evolving <------ show an interest that you care about their life as well.
Now some people have told me that people may just be too busy. They may be going through a lot so it is not fair that you get upset when they don't call/text to just chat. Well I say to them: if someone is a close friend of mine, I would be talking to them about what is going on in my life to hopefully gain some outside perspective or support or bounce ideas off from. And then if my close friend is going through something I hope that they would tell me so that I did know they were going through something and then I could be there for them; be in their corner helping in any way that I could.
I just cannot see how I can call someone a close friend when I know nothing about what is happening in their life and when they seem to not care about what is happening in mine? I do not feel this is a bad thing. People drift, especially people who live far away from each other. But lets not play it off like its something its not.
People whom I speak with infrequently and do not really have an idea of how they are or whats been going on I call acquaintences or just, a friend.
Ok so lay it on me... am I too needy? Am I setting too high of expectations for someone to be a close friend? Or do you concur and feel that a close friendship is a commitment and one that both parties need to put forth an effort to keep in touch?
Cheers and hershey kisses*
If I have someone in my life whom I call a close friend, I feel that if someone asked me, "hey how is _____ doing" I'd be able to confidently say how they actually were. A close friendship to me involves communication and just checking in on each other to see how what has been going on in their life.. At minimum, I think that to have someone in your life that you call a close friend, you at least have communication with them once a month. You talk to each other when you are at a low or high point in our life. Give updates on big events that are happening and then inquire and ask how things are evolving <------ show an interest that you care about their life as well.
Now some people have told me that people may just be too busy. They may be going through a lot so it is not fair that you get upset when they don't call/text to just chat. Well I say to them: if someone is a close friend of mine, I would be talking to them about what is going on in my life to hopefully gain some outside perspective or support or bounce ideas off from. And then if my close friend is going through something I hope that they would tell me so that I did know they were going through something and then I could be there for them; be in their corner helping in any way that I could.
I just cannot see how I can call someone a close friend when I know nothing about what is happening in their life and when they seem to not care about what is happening in mine? I do not feel this is a bad thing. People drift, especially people who live far away from each other. But lets not play it off like its something its not.
People whom I speak with infrequently and do not really have an idea of how they are or whats been going on I call acquaintences or just, a friend.
Ok so lay it on me... am I too needy? Am I setting too high of expectations for someone to be a close friend? Or do you concur and feel that a close friendship is a commitment and one that both parties need to put forth an effort to keep in touch?
Cheers and hershey kisses*